1 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity?twice.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
Chuck Norris doesn?t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn?t lifting himself up, he?s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Chuck Norris makes onions cry!
I'll believe corporations are persons when Texas executes one.: LBJ's Ghost