2012 Democratic National Convention Schedule
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of "God Damn America " led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama
4:15 PM – Ceremonial 'I hate America' showing favorite vacation spots led by Michelle Obama
4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world” – Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM –Al Sharpton / Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”
5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log” - Michelle Obama
5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on "Family Values" via Satellite
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Nancy Pelosi
6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid - 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to pass a budget, unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.
8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar - Charlie Rangle
10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers -Bill Ayers
10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag at Iraq & Afghanistan
11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium / Tire Gauge Demonstration / You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies
11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally
11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish – Obama Presiding
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
The year was 1947. Some of you will recall that on July 8, 1947, a little more than 65 years ago, numerous witnesses claim that an Unidentified Flying Object, (UFO), with five aliens aboard, crashed onto a sheep & mule ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well known incident that many say has long been covered-up by the U.S. Air Force, as well as other Federal Agencies and Organizations. However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of April, year 1948, nine months after the historic day, the following people were born:
> Barrack Obama Sr.
> Albert A. Gore, Jr.
> Hillary Rodham
> William J. Clinton
> John F. Kerry
> Howard Dean
> Nancy Pelos
> Charles E. Schumer
> Barbara Boxer
> Joe Biden
This is the consequence of aliens breeding with sheep and jack-asses. I truly hope this bit of information clears up a lot of things for you. It certainly did for me. And now you can stop wondering why they support the bill to help all Illegal Aliens.
1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
8. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
"A pen in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."
1. I voted Republican because you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things.
2. I voted Republican because firefighters and teachers are
scum-sucking leaches, but the oil companies raking in record profits
NEED those hundreds of millions in taxpayer subsidies.
3. I voted Republican because I believe companies like my cable TV
provider, insurance company and credit card company could do a better
job running the country than the government, no matter how much they
screw me over.
4. I voted Republican because I don’t trust the government, although
I favored the government spying on my health/financial records and
tapping my phone when Bush was in office to keep us safe from ‘trrists.
5. I voted Republican because I don't really care whether terrorists, murderers and drug dealers own guns or not.
6. I voted Republican because I believe climate change doesn't
exist; if I can't see it with my own two eyes, it doesn't exist. Like
7. I voted Republican because I hate women having abortions, but
once the baby is born and dies from a preventable illness that’ okay.
8. I voted Republican because I believe in laying off workers to
boost profits; then I get to complain about lazy unemployed people.
9. I voted Republican because I understand capitalism. Demand
doesn’t increase jobs…ensuring corporations pay no taxes and cutting
healthcare and education does.
10. I voted Republican because I care about the deficit and support
cutting services that I really need. But extra tax cuts for the super
rich that actually caused the deficit should be extended indefinitely.
11. I voted Republican because I believe in never having to solve
any problems in the government because I insist government is the
12. I voted Republican because I hate activist judges, unless they
are conservative (Yes, corporations should get to spend unlimited money
13. I voted Republican because spite and fear is better than hope and change.
I voted republican because 2000 year old beliefs are far more important than science, science is not important for the next generation to know, god will take care of them.