The President announces

[samfloor]

After the attack yesterday, the President is expected to announce a proposed ban on "assault knives". Starting with classes on how to chew your steak whole.

[Austin]

I already do that. I will be the Knife Czar and like with all forms of prohibition I will start a black market by outlawing them and create a far more violent and incurable solution.

[wild]

Since all of these attacks have been happening in schools, I'd think schools would be next on the list of bans.