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Old 07-03-2011, 01:30 PM  
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Keizer, OR
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An Illegal Alien's Guide to the Top Five Best Places to Live

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1. California
California?s state motto ?Eureka? (I have found it!) aptly applies here. The state's population includes 3.2 million illegal aliens -- almost 24% of all illegal aliens in America -- have chosen the Golden State as their preferred domicile.

2. Montgomery Country, Maryland
If jobs are what attract you, then this upscale community close to our nation's capital offers the mother of all magnets.
The first step to getting a job is to visit a Casa De Maryland (CASA) Welcome Center. Their employment specialists help you find a job and don?t give a hoot about your legal status. They will even help you acquire an IRS-issued taxpayer identification number because, of course, you?re here illegally and not eligible for a real Social Security number. This powerful organization is truly the illegal alien Welcome Wagon with $16 million in assets, $4.9M of it acquired in 2010 from government contracts!

3. Washington State
There?s nothing like a valid driver?s license in your hip pocket to help you navigate the U.S. at will.
Most states require you to present your Social Security Number (SSN) to get one. Washington has made an exception. If you don?t already have a fake SSN ? or aren?t ?borrowing? one from a U.S. citizen ? simply sign a form and bring a utility bill along to prove you?re living in the Evergreen State.

4. Chicago - All of Illinois too!
The Beatles may have had you and Chicago -- the whole state even -- in mind when they sang "I get by with a little help from my friends.? Local politicians will entice you, excuse you, and if you don?t mind terribly, use you.
U.S. Senator Dick Durbin is a good friend of illegal aliens and a stalwart supporter of the DREAM Act.
U.S. Representative Luis Gutierrez is your other friend. He?s on record saying, ?I have only one loyalty, and that?s to the immigrant community.?
Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is also on your team. He recently told the federal government that Illinois will not participate in Secure Communities.
What does remain is Chicago?s sanctuary city policy. You won?t be asked any questions if you keep out of trouble but should you get jailed, no one will check your immigration status even when you?re in custody.

5. New Haven, Connecticut

New Haven is what its name implies ? a haven for illegal aliens. You won?t need to fuss with legal documents like driver?s licenses, social security card, Green Card, visa or passport; there is a card just for you. In 2007, this town became the first in the country to offer ID cards to residents, ?regardless of age or immigration status."

|Truck full of Mexicans! ?|"""|.., _o
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I'll believe corporations are persons when Texas executes one.: LBJ's Ghost
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Old 07-03-2011, 09:40 PM  
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6) Kaiser, Oregon

This is selected because there are lots of crazy coots, with lots of internet connections for the taking. Just pitch a tent at blucker's house, and he will feed you daily and every once in awhile, will personally give you a sponge bath!

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Old 07-04-2011, 06:20 PM  
fustrated genius
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7) Maricopa Co., AZ

Law breakers special offers free tent camping (sack lunch & cot included) until transportation can be arranged to get you home in time for the holidays.
Contact; Joe Arpaio
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Old 07-04-2011, 06:25 PM  
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I always kinda liked Joe and his concept!
Алекс says don't drink and derive
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Old 07-04-2011, 08:55 PM  
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A bunch of us were in his county on Harleys, obviously packing our pistols. When we got stopped by his local coppers, we were told we were going to be arrested and escorted to his office. Once we arrived he came out and greeted us all and said that if we were all deputized, we would no longer be illegal. He then asked us all to raise our right hands and commenced to make us all swarn deputies. Really a neat guy!
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