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Old 08-07-2011, 06:01 PM  
I Sank Your Battleship
 
ChrisNukemYJ's Avatar

Tucson, Arrenizona
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This is how it is.

I'm thinking my wife and I are going to split. There just doesn't seem to be
a way around it. She wants to be around everyone else and never me so I
am going to give her the ability to go be with everybody else and not have
to worry about me, as if she ever does. On top of everything else this is the
straw breaking my back.
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This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-sh*t-o-meter.
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Old 08-07-2011, 06:49 PM  
mohel
 
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Keizer, OR
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Chris;

I know there's a lot more than a paragraph causing this. It took a lot more than a paragraph to get you married and that's an investment on several levels. I know you shoot and go 4 wheelin but do you do as much stuff with her?
Despite it working out well taking granny to a Berreta shoot granny was that odd female who really enjoyed it.

Try talking with her and if you can try it with an objective professional too. Sort it out between you before you give up on it.
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Old 08-07-2011, 08:32 PM  
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Sammamish, WA
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There has to be a balance between things a couple does together and apart.
We all have things we like to do that our spouse does not. Most guys love to spend time at the hardware and auto parts stores, while the wives prefer a clothing store or mall. You have to make an effort to find things you both like, or end up growing apart. How long have you been married? We're going on 37 years. We each have our own friends we do things with, even overnight or for a few days apart, but also do a lot of things together.
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Old 08-07-2011, 08:36 PM  
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California
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Chris,

My wife has been gone for 53 days (but who is counting? Me!), and being single is a miserable way to live. Work it out, go to counseling, take a vacation, do something before just throwing in the towel!
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:08 PM  
I Sank Your Battleship
 
ChrisNukemYJ's Avatar

Tucson, Arrenizona
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,810 | Kudos: +57
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I have talked to her, many times, and things will get better for a day or two and then go
right back to the way they were. I give up so much for her and it is one way. I can't take
it anymore. She has sent me close to my breaking point a few times this month alone and
it is extremely hard for me to get there.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I am mentally and physically drained.

I love her to death, but I am not going to kill myself fighting a losing battle.
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This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-sh*t-o-meter.
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:14 PM  
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California
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Does she really know you are at the breaking point? Does she seem not to care? Can you find a third party mediator who can explain yours and her problems?
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:23 PM  
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Chris, I am sorry to hear your troubles. I hope things get better for you, dude, but I know that things are going to be hell before it gets better. I wish you well in this thing. Have you tried a counselor? They can't change anything but they can sure help to give you a few tools to better be able to handle the stress and torture thatb a divorce is. I am lucky to have never had one but I know it to be hell. No matter what, you'll need a counselor.
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:35 PM  
I Sank Your Battleship
 
ChrisNukemYJ's Avatar

Tucson, Arrenizona
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,810 | Kudos: +57
Images: 39
Yeah she knows i'm at the end of my rope.

I have tried third person people to help us and like I said things are ok for a day or two
then everything goes back the way it was. No headway is ever made.
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Old 08-07-2011, 09:39 PM  
mohel
 
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Keizer, OR
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Hood & Havasu are right Chris. We get so wrapped up in the dynamics of a relationship we miss hearing each other. Years ago I saw twp people who held group sessions. It was amazing how hard it is to own feelings. People set records for complicating the easy stuff.
I found the experience fascinating and in time I began calling the two psychologists "sorters". they're quite good at that.

both of you should speak with one together. If it fails see one yourself.
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Old 08-07-2011, 10:49 PM  
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California
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My psychologist/counselor also specializes in anger management. Maybe me and you can get a CP discount?
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