There is a person that I dated in college and reunited with a year or so ago online. He married someone else, didn't tell me he was dating--we attended different colleges--a long distance relationship. That hurt--and it particularly hurt because 'SHE'--wrote me a letter to inform me that --'R is Mine and you are no lady'---I had composed quite a letter--lol--I was annoyed with him for something he had done---the last time I saw him--tried to put some moves on me---and I declied--never saw or heard from him again. So I wrote a saticrical letter--quite 'nasty'.
Then the witch's engagement picture appeared on the back of my college roommates. The woman is a hypocrite if nothing else---has a smirk and looked somethning like his high school girlfriend--haha---if she only knew the story about that.
So over 30 years go by and there he is on a high school reunion site. 'Let's be friends' and he wrote me a card--'So thrilled to see you etc'.
He is now retired from the military and living in FL--divorced--fairly recently it seems--several years ago at least. They had 2 kids--in their 30's now.
I said ---'Well, Ok--but we need to clear up a few things...'
So I said--'Did you know about the letter--do you know that I hate your wife and never want to hear anything you did with her?'
We met before I said this and he did try to mention her name. The fool. Should have known me well enough to not need to be told that. We weren't friends, we dated and I really cared for him.
Did he not know that? I now wonder.
So we emailed a bit and he got 'mad' when I continued to discuss 'The Past'.
And we didn't communicate again until I called him a few weeks ago. My brother died a few years ago and my mother is 90 and hasn't dealt well. I have some health problems and I was very worried--I hid that by sounding 'angry'--and he didn't like it. Defensive.
He is a 'Bear'---lol.
So he sends me an email--'I am going to take my boat out this weekend--'and some generic chit chat.
Then he sends me clippings of an air show in FL--apparently he loves planes. No note --just newspaper clippings--pictures.
On our high school site he posts a picture of a girl/woman--wearing a 2 piece.
So I assume he has a significant other---why send the clippings?
I wrote a lengthy letter and provided some additional fyi about my life. It was a very difficult time for me when he found me on the reunion site and have had problems with my blood pressure and diabetes 2---and am now on a medical disability. I never cared how much money he had--he keeps telling me things like that---I assume the 'B'witch screwed him royally---for $$$ and all sorts of other issues that I imagine would lead to a divorce after over 30 years of marriage.
Ego problems--he seems to be acting like his feelings are hurt by my 'cruel' remarks. And as for posting a picture---come on now--he is my age---62. Am I supposed to think--wow---he can still get a 'Hot Chick'. That seems so childish. I had made a few remarks about him acting like 'Mr. Big'/Sex and the City-and he is stubborn enough to respond that way.
I said--'I am happy for you if your life is going well--but frankly, that doesn't do muich for me.'
It is the defensive behavior that I don't understand--honestly, I have been as rational as I can be--I said--'I don't know why you would want to find me---you married her...' And I said--'I cherished and respected you---I just wasn't the one you wanted---I have some ego--how do you think that felt?'
Sort of guilty--but too stubborn to say it--is what I think.
So I left it with--Call me if you want to--and if you are in a relationship I don't want to interfere.
Men--who can ever understand them. I still have some deep feelings for him and either I am insane, which may be possible---but I think he cares for me in some way. He is not a shallow person--nor really a player. Something serious happened that lead to the divorce of that I am certain. The 'wife' is more religious than he is--posts on her page about her religious beliefs--I assume that is one factor in the split---she would have been the type to keep close tabs on him--he traveled a lot for the military and I get the feeling he enjoyed his freedom. Who knows?
I've been where you appear to be addy. Head full of facts, supposed facts and confusions. Not a fun place at all.
None of it looks brighter with him in your life. Time to move on and I wish you well on your adventure.
I know--sigh--he is 'a child'.
So--he sent the clippings of the air show to tell me--'I like planes'?
That is all I can understand.
'Look, Mom--planes'. 'I have a boat and I have a pretty girl.' Aren't ya proud?
That is all the sense that this makes to me.
Marry someone else---pretend you didn't know I cared and 30 years later say --'Let's be friends--I was so thrilled to find you...'
Crazy--just crazy.
But he became a LTC and apparently was involved with national security--computers, technology---loved the physical, mechanical stuff. The Army--I support the military but there are aspects of that style of life that don't appeal to me. He traveled the world--I guess that was what he wanted to do when he considered his options. One thing that irked me--he didn't go to Viet Nam---started out as a 2nd Lt and went to Germany---people I knew went to Viet Nam and they never speak of the experience. Sounds like he had 'fun'---and made money--had the 2 kids--awfully proud of that and has his true love at his side. Yippee =-hurray--
my life on the other hand was a bit more challenging and eventful--I didn't have a true love--wasted time in college writing letters to him.
Adele gives me goosebumps. I'm sure her record will be on repeat in my near future.
I don't know you, or much more about this situation than you've spoken here, but I believe you've wasted enough of your life on this guy.
While he's out worried about him and his, he had no regard for you. In all these years, it sounds like he hasn't much considered you while you've thought of him everyday at least once. (You didn't say that, but if you're anything like me...)
Cheer up, love. I know it's easier said than done (and I am not even in the position to give advice about this) but I say move on. Enjoy your life as much as he enjoys bragging about his to you.
Listen to some Alanis Morrissette from the Jagged Little Pill album. You'll wanna rip this guy apart for the things he has put you through all these long ones. Or check the youtube below.... Hopefully you're not offended by it's one bad lyric that is repeated. Hopefully, you'll giggle at it's irony for your situation. It's even got lyrics! So write em down and then mail him those instead of the next heartfelt letter I know you've already written him!
(If a mod would like this removed, let me know and I will just PM it to her. Thanks ahead, guys.)
Adele gives me goosebumps. I'm sure her record will be on repeat in my near future.
I don't know you, or much more about this situation than you've spoken here, but I believe you've wasted enough of your life on this guy.
While he's out worried about him and his, he had no regard for you. In all these years, it sounds like he hasn't much considered you while you've thought of him everyday at least once. (You didn't say that, but if you're anything like me...)
Cheer up, love. I know it's easier said than done (and I am not even in the position to give advice about this) but I say move on. Enjoy your life as much as he enjoys bragging about his to you.
Listen to some Alanis Morrissette from the Jagged Little Pill album. You'll wanna rip this guy apart for the things he has put you through all these long ones. Or check the youtube below.... Hopefully you're not offended by it's one bad lyric that is repeated. Hopefully, you'll giggle at it's irony for your situation. It's even got lyrics! So write em down and then mail him those instead of the next heartfelt letter I know you've already written him!
(If a mod would like this removed, let me know and I will just PM it to her. Thanks ahead, guys.)
lol---um--no I haven't thought of him every day--never thought of him after college and as soon as I knew for certain he had found 'the one'--um--I made great efforts not to waste another second.
That is why I was so surprised at the enthusiastic---'I was thrilled to find you online---I was home at Thanksgiving for 5 days and so sorry I missed you--didn't know you were in Atlanta. I didn't know where you were. Send me your cell phone number I would love to talk to you.'
what a surprise---he had sent me some advertising material when he got out of the army and started selling real estate--I had just moved back to Atlanta from Savannah--and was dealing with my brother's illness and my mother's issues and thought to myself---'I have no need of real estate in FL- etc..' They came every so often--I threw them away.
Then I got a call --'We are having a 40 class reunion'--not another word. My brother was not doing well--Stage IV lung cancer--and I just didn't think about reuniting with my high school class. I live 5 minutes from the school--it was on the verge of being sold for redevelopment--commercial real estate developer offered a lot of money-- our community opposed this. The high school was exceptionally good in its day---and we all have some deep feelings about it.
So I posted on the reunion site and he found me---and was anxious to reunite. I might have been 'nicer'--if it hadn't been such a bad time--2nd Christmas after my brother's death and I had started applying to Social Security--for a medical disability. We met---he is really a nice person--but I thought---time for you to learn a few things. So I told him how I felt about his choice of a spouse--and other things. He is pouting--no doubt about that---we'll see what he decides to do.
The letter I sent will make him feel about 2" high---my life has been like something from the Twilight Zone---and he knows he contributed.
Why the clippings though--no note--just newspaper clippings of the air show?
You want to talk to me--you don't know what to say---what is wrong with him? I would love to know.
Any other ideas---this is mysterious--how insane--he wasn't like this before--middle age crazy?---That is all I can infer.
I watch this video frequently---not that my friends and I didn't counsel each other like the ladies on SATC did --back in the 'day'---we knew--we read Cosmo--and went through all 'of that'. My best friend said, 'He's just nuts'--we talked for a few hours the other night. lol--I know he is--but he wants to be 'friends' and I just want to know what that would be like--lol---he knows I like him and as an 18 yr old I just went along with whatever he said. lol--He once said his wife didn't 'grow'--well, I did--he called me out of the blue once around 1975---passing through Atlanta on the way to Texas. How he got my number at work--I taught school I don't know-he is geeky and can do things like that. His sister works for an educational organization--maybe she helped him--I don't know. He wouldn't have known where I was teaching--after the wedding--just down the street from my house---I drove by and thought a less than kind thought that day.
So--hold you breath--we did it. Just to see what he would do--he said, 'You know I'm married and I said--'Yes, I know'. lol we still did it.
When I posted this on another forum I got a reprimand--'You slept with a married man--how could you, etc?'---I didn't make him. And, imo, she deserved it for writing a letter and telling me I was no lady. She should have known him well enough to suspect he had been 'naughty'--in some way. Plus, I don't believe she was a virgin on her wedding night. Hypocritical little witch--he had a passionate relationship with the same girl all through high school. They broke up when her Dad came home unexpectedly one afternoon and caught them in her bedroom.
It was a scandal---we were both majorettes and her friend shared the fyi with the band. He met me at Homecoming that year after graduation and asked me to the dance. I wanted to dance--and endured the censure of my parental acquaintance --we had known each other in Brownies and from church she moved away and returned to graduate from our high school--it was 'The Best' at the time. So full of it that one--she had to be the one to tell me he had a girl friend--worked with a girl that went to his college. She enjoyed that--immensely. Then she had to be transferred to my school and complained that we had no 'Class' and worked the principal to get what she wanted. I left ---told the principal what I thought of her--and he didn't like that much-.I told R all of this and he was concerned for me.
He can do better and I want to see what happens. lol--just for the record. He can cut his foolishness out---he is not a little boy. lol--He called me Hillary--sent me a cartoon of her---and I didn't communicate with him for over a year --until a few weeks ago. No, not Hillary--in our Feminist organzation I am 'Kate the Great'--Katharine Hepburn--but I won't do what she did--love Spencer Tracey her entire life---he was Catholic and would never leave his family--Kate could do that--I can't.
lol---He likes me. He can figure out how to make me like him. I think it will be interesting.
Hooked on a Feeling---Hasselhoff--the idiot's idiot---addiction--he should know.
I told him when he first contacted me that I was listening to this song---'Diamonds and Rust' by Joan Baez---the opposite of his taste in music--he liked James Brown--lol--from his hometown--Macon, GA. 'Macho' men are now 'in trouble'---with hard core Feminists like me. lol---The military--oh please--they are wonderful but not gods--and he knows better than to act this way--his Mother would kill him.
Why the clippings though--no note--just newspaper clippings of the air show?
You want to talk to me--you don't know what to say---what is wrong with him? I would love to know.
Any other ideas---this is mysterious--how insane--he wasn't like this before--middle age crazy?---That is all I can infer.
so silly.
Maybe you're onto something. He'd like to talk to you, but he doesn't quite know what to say to you. So he's saying, "This is what I am into, how about you?". Send him a magazine/newspaper clipping of something equally as random that you are into. See what he does?
I'm sure he is/was pouting about the letter. People usually pout after getting a multiple-page letter from me; I don't write letters often.
Now I know that even in their 60's, men play these stupid games.
Maybe you're onto something. He'd like to talk to you, but he doesn't quite know what to say to you. So he's saying, "This is what I am into, how about you?". Send him a magazine/newspaper clipping of something equally as random that you are into. See what he does?
I'm sure he is/was pouting about the letter. People usually pout after getting a multiple-page letter from me; I don't write letters often.
Now I know that even in their 60's, men play these stupid games.
Yes, I think you are right. His 'wittle feelings are hurt'--I was always 'very nice' to him --others said it sounded like he needed an ego boost. I'll bet he did---his wife's brother is a well-respected attorney and runs the town they live in---he got screwed--I would bet on that. 'SHE'--is the kind to go ballistic and then his kids--there are pictures of Mom and the kids and grandkids---so some sensitivity about a lot of things I suspect.
I sent him postcards from 'home'---Atlanta---lol--he says he drives through to the mountains. So he can either decide to stop or keep on driving through. Moron. If he had 'wanted to find me'===he could have googled and my Mother is still listed in the phone book. He is in sales--and I think used to talking that way--which sounds like 'BS' to me. 'Super' he says that a lot---not kewl, not kewl--maybe that works at the beach but in the ATL we are more understated. Just Chillin---that is the new ATL attitude. lol--The beach--I lived in Savannah--I went to the beach--I love it--and he doesn't need to rub it in that he goes all the time in his boat with his 'Super' crew and the Hot Babe. I'll knock his head off. lol.
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