Quote:
Originally Posted by Old-Goat
Treasurecoast and Blucher:
I find your positions on spirituality to be unique to say the least. Would each of you mind sharing what your spiritual background is. Where you come to your spiritual positions from? It certainly would help me to understand your postings.
|
I'm never at a loss for words but this is difficult to translate into just words to explain.
me; Catholic Schools all the way through a Jesuit University. Theology and Catholic Philosophy in college.
I was 8 when the church and I began parting ways. Picture a gushing nun overwhelmed with us all dressed up for a class picture and looking angelic.
Nun: "You are such lucky boys and girls. You look like and are so lucky to be Americans and Catholics and not going to hell like those Protestants down the street".
The Jesuits taught me to question everything. They should have warned me the average parish priest is not well versed in questioning most anything. They're well intended yes men at the bottom of the pecking order.
Dark and evil things were happening in the late sixties and the priests involved were transferred (after the term) when they should have been tried in court. All the way through college I looked for a way to be a Catholic but found none.
I'd already studied a bit of some religions but now (mid twenties) I looked deeper. Islam 30 years ago looked very pious. Who knew the pious fancied exploding so much?
I've also been a feminist for nearly 40 years and I examine organizations to see if they pay more than lip service to gender equality. The Catholic Church is an embarrassment in that regard.
All this time I was experimenting with cutting out the middle man and having a running conversation with God. It felt like spiritual growth always feels.I liked it.
I was also noticing that during sobriety I could grow faster. No chance of that because my master plan since 21 was to live fast and die well before anyone says "nursing home". Although I devoted 10 years of my life to the adrenaline rush of working in rough bars the ample opportunities should have killed me several times over. The Plan wasn't looking so masterful.
Plan B was to drink more scotch. This part seemed to be going well. One night I awoke to projectile vomit blood. (lots) It's called an esophageal varices and should kill you without fast care. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I needed two or three sick days to grow new blood.
It took 4 of these events and a failing liver to put me on my back for a year.I gave up on Plan B and got sober. (ever since)
I am extremely good at organization and planning in detail yet my 2 plans fell on their face. I was 50 and 20 years behind on my schedule.
I needed to blame somebody and one day I looked up and said; WTF are you up to? I meant it rhetorically but He took it literally and our dialog continues to this day.
Do the math
*For me*
Parents and DIS-Organized religion taught me good values but the mechanism of the Catholic belief system REQUIRES you to frequently suspend belief. I love reading the religious section of newspapers. It keeps me up to date on what the blighters are up to.
God is also my friend and I'm embarrassed for what we humans do in his name that He would never condone.
I think salvation for me was hearing George Carlin do his bit on God ("bad at handling money")
My God never asks for anything. He's loving, not vengeful (unless you count His weird sense of humor). Now I have more useful things to do although they seem so simple I can't guess why he needed me around to get them done. My best guess is
ripples.
I don't want money or need thanks. I've only done what I was taught I should do. If that's contagious we need a plague.
I didn't get what I was after but I made a fine friend. When I think of it I ask if he has work for me. It always shows up so obviously meant for me I feel like He thinks I'm Special Ed.
Hope that helps.
P.S.:
I do have a "holy book". It keeps me focused. It's Richard Bach's "Illusions".
HTML Code:
http://www.barefootsworld.net/illusions.html
You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however.
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.
You're going to die a horrible death, remember. It's all good training, and you'll enjoy it more if you keep the facts in mind.
Take your dying with some seriousness, however. Laughing on the way to your execution it not generally understood by less advanced lifeforms, and they'll call you crazy.
Everything above may be wrong!