Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers,
a Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
Says he to himself: "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies,
two in the front seat and three in the back...
wide eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him
"Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!
What seems to be the problem?"
"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should
know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger
to other drivers."
"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...
Twenty-two miles an hour!" ...the old woman says a bit proudly.
The Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her
that 22 is the highway number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks the officer
for pointing out her error.
"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask...
Is everyone in this car OK?
These women seem awfully shaken, and they haven't
made a peep this whole time," the officer asks.
A WEST VIRGINIA MAN
>
> A GOOD ONE
_________________________
______________________________
>
> An 80-year-old WV hillbilly goes to the doctor for a check-up.
>
>
>
> The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do
> you stay in such great physical condition?'
>
>
>
> 'I'm from WV and I am a hunter,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in
> such good shape.. I'm up well before daylight and out hunting all day .. I
> have a beer, and all is well.'
>
>
>
> 'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more
> to it. How old was your Father when he died?'
>
>
>
> 'Who said my Father's dead?'
>
>
>
> The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's
> still alive. How old is he?'
>
>
>
> 'He's 100 years old,' says the old Hillbilly 'In fact he hunted with me
> this morning, and then we went to the topless bar for a while and had a
> little beer and that's why he's still alive. He's A WV man and he's a hunter,
> too.'
>
>
>
> 'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it
> than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'
>
>
>
> 'Who said my Papaw's dead?'
>
>
>
> Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your
> grandfather's still alive?'
>
>
>
> 'He's 118 years old,' says the old Hillbilly
>
>
>
> The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went
> hunting with you this morning too?'
>
>
>
> 'No, Papaw couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'
>
>
>
> At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why
> would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'
>
>
>
> 'Who said he wanted to?'
>
>
>
>
>
A good ole West Virginia boy won a bass boat in a raffle drawing.
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says,
"What you gonna do with that. There ain't no water deep enough to float
a boat within 100 miles of here."
He says, "I won it and I'm a gonna keep it."
His brother came over to visit several days later. He sees the wife and
asks where his brother is.
She says, "He's out there in his bass boat", pointing to the field
behind the house.
The brother heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in
a bass boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field.
He yells out to him, "What are you doing?"
His brother replies, "I'm fishin. What does it look like I'm a doing."
His brother yells, "It's people like you that give people from ""West
Virginia"" a bad name, makin everybody think we is stupid.
If I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your ass!"
The poem is from an e-mail I received from a friend..........
Quote:
Thought everyone would enjoy this -
compliments of its author, Roger Taylor from Elkins
'Twas the night of the Orange Bowl and throughout the nation
We were the underdogs on every TV and Radio Station
ESPN said we couldn't win, Clemson would destroy us in the end
Said our guys weren't so great, and one didn't know West Virginia was a state
The fans were nestled all snug in the stands
Clapping along with the Mountaineer band
And ma in her jammies and I in my WVU cap
Settled in for the game, a bowl of chips in my lap
When out on the field there arose such a clatter
I turned up the sound to see what was the matter
Touchdown after Touchdown after Touchdown they scored
10 in all for a 70 score
The QB in charge was so lively and quick
I knew in a moment it was Geno Smith
More rapid than eagles his passes they came,
Then he pointed and scrambled and call them by name
Now Austin! Now Bailey! Now Buie and Alston!
On Cook! On Brown! On Milhouse and Irvin!
Tightrope the side lines and reach for that score,
We make history tonight, no one's done it before!
The coach praised his players, the fans stayed for hours,
Dana still wet from his Gatorade shower.
He turned with a jerk, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he strode out of sight,
"The couches are burning in Mo-town tonight!"
> Matewan , WV -- Breaking News - June 11, 2012
>
> Mingo County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported two local men were injured when
> their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Red Jacket on
> Matewan Road.
>
> Early Monday shortly after midnight, Thurston Poole, 33, of Red Jacket,
> and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Easley, were returning to Taylorville after a
> frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck
> headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on
> the older-model truck had burned out.
>
> As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the 22
> caliber bullets from his pistol fitted perfectly into the fuse box next to
> the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again
> began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound.
>
> After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the
> river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in
> the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and
> struck a tree.
>
> Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will
> require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his testicles, which
> will never again operate as intended.
>
> Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank
> God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off, or we
> might be dead," stated Wallis.
>
> "I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a
> first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident
> happened," said Deputy Snyder.
>
> Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia ( Poole's wife) asked how many
> frogs the
> boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity." - A. Einstein
Interesting Area name just west of Boone County, West (By God) Virginia:
Big Ugly Wildlife Management Area.
Certainly there are no Ugly things in Harts Creek?!
__________________
THERE IS NO RELIGION HIGHER THAN TRUTH!!
All Women are Ladies till They Prove otherwise!!
Interesting Area name just west of Boone County, West (By God) Virginia:
Big Ugly Wildlife Management Area.
Certainly there are no Ugly things in Harts Creek?!
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There's no UGLY places in our West Virginia.......here's links about the area
you have mentioned here...........
Linear Mode
