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-   -   Man Rules (https://www.cityprofile.com/forum/off-topic/man-rules-3949/)

wade42470 10-18-2010 05:06 PM

Man Rules
 
The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side....

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports or news, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1.. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football
or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.

red_grand 10-18-2010 05:10 PM

I liked rule 1:rolleyes:

ReconBen 10-19-2010 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by red_grand (Post 27807)
I liked rule 1:rolleyes:

Same here. :D Thanks for posting this. I will have to hang it up somewhere.

rnemovr 10-19-2010 05:44 AM

laugh every time i read this

Otahyoni 10-19-2010 05:55 AM

Good stuff! :D

Austin 10-19-2010 10:52 AM

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

I wish my wife would learn that one.

ElKabong 10-19-2010 10:09 PM

^ Haha. Numbers 1 thru 1.
Quote:

Originally Posted by wade42470 (Post 27801)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


I have said for years "I did move it for you. I put it up before I used the toilet. If I had left it down, then you'd have a reason to be unhappy". ;)

Jake7 10-20-2010 03:52 AM

Haha I just made my wife read it, and she loved it!

jeepcache 10-22-2010 10:49 PM

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.




qfmft

Sarahdactyl 10-24-2010 05:11 PM

LOL. These are great. Only got beef with one of them

Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.

Nothing like sitting in the car taking an hour long deture through the ghettoooo and cityyy!

However if we were out in the country I wouldn't mind so much haha.


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