what is the best way to have open talk with your partner?

[blucher]

Originally Posted by havasu

Does she understand the bumpers I can buy for my jeep with that kind of money?

Of course not but she understands men & their toys and blessed be the man who gives his wife a mixer for their anniversary. Jeeps don't need bumpers anyway. Just bolt on a thick plank.

[blucher]

many guys feel that any type of emotional outpouring of that kind is a weakness

Pop raised me hardcore macho Irish. I so completely subliminated my feelings I couldn't even tell you what I felt, just what I thought.

I got lucky by dating a psychiatric nurse from Manhattan. She mention I lacked "affect". (WTF is affect???) She added that as my GF she shouldn't also be my psychologist and that if I was curious about it I could speak to someone at the psych unit at the local hospital. I did. They laughed. Actually they almost rolled on the floor laughing.

I asked how I might fix this and spent two years in group therapy (lots of people of both sexes have some issues with emotional denial and the boyfriend mentioned might too. It was a good investment reacquainting myself with my feelings. I feel complete now and have insights I'd have never guessed at.

Let me add that while this may affect the BF it's usually more a case of deception that brings couples to question eachother's motives.

[BLKSVT]

Here's my thought...You won't find many if any guys who will sit down pour their emotions, problems, worries or stresses out to you while sipping coffee wiping their tears with a tissue. Like my pappy once said, son you will spend your whole life trying to figure women out, to only find you can't. I've been married for 25 years to a beautiful great woman who probably would tell you I do the same things, I'm just not the kind of guy who can tell someone everything...women can. I harbor a lot of stuff inside..is it right maybe not but thats just me. Maybe your BF is the same way, you have to let him vent when he wants, let him tell you things at his own time. Trying to pull info out, checking behind him for things asking other people about what he does and when will only drive him away.

Ok..enough from me....

[havasu]

^ Excellent reply!

[jollyjung]

Originally Posted by BLKSVT

, I'm just not the kind of guy who can tell someone everything...women can. I harbor a lot of stuff inside..e....

thx fir reply first off.
I'm wondering what kind of stuff guys want to keep inside usually?

[BLKSVT]

Originally Posted by jollyjung

thx fir reply first off.
I'm wondering what kind of stuff guys want to keep inside usually?

It could be anything.....from getting punked at work to getting beat off a red light in the morning traffic to not catching fish like johnny does to their hair cut they just got to the hot girl in the office that smiles at you everytime you see her to a irritating wedge to damn you forgot your deodorant today to not getting the raise you deserve to just about any damn thing. We are guys, our chromosomes are different, don't spend your time trying to figur us out and we wont spend it trying to figure y'all out. Much love!

[Austin]

Originally Posted by BLKSVT

It could be anything.....from getting punked at work to getting beat off a red light in the morning traffic to not catching fish like johnny does to their hair cut they just got to the hot girl in the office that smiles at you everytime you see her to a irritating wedge to damn you forgot your deodorant today to not getting the raise you deserve to just about any damn thing. We are guys, our chromosomes are different, don't spend your time trying to figur us out and we wont spend it trying to figure y'all out. Much love!

I've also found we get misread. I'm a simple creature. If I look unhappy, I have a headache. That's all.

[BCboy]

Sometimes we just do not think stuff is worth telling.
My wife feels a need to tell me every little thing.
I really don't feel much needs to be said unless its a HUGE thing.
And some stuff i don't tell her, because why upset her.
She hates some stuff i do, she still knows i do it, but its easier if i just keep quiet about it.

Can you give some examples of what you mean jollyjung.

[BCboy]

Bump this to the top.

[RiponredTJ]

I don't bottle anything up.
I am an open book, and more often than not it gets me into trouble.