Good for him. That's ****in' bull**** that they move in next door and ask him to move out from his family's farm or get rid of his pigs. Way to go redneck!
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio, Texas leading a tired old mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.
As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, can you dance?"
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No son, I don't dance... never really wanted to"
A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now!" and started shooting at the old man's feet.
The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.
Everybody standing around was laughing.
When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers.
The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.
The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.
The silence was deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin 12 gauge barrels.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said;
"Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir... but.... I've always wanted to"
There are a few lessons for all of us here:
*Don't be arrogant.
*Don't waste ammunition.
*Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
*Always make sure you know who is in control.
*And finally, Don't screw around with old folks; they didn't get old by being stupid...
I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?
Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows,Texas is planning to do one entitled:
“Survivor, Texas-Style!”
The 8 contestants will all start in Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio.
Then over to Houston and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, and Amarillo.
From there they will go on to Abilene and Fort Worth.
Finally back to Dallas.
Each will be driving a pink Prius with bumper stickers that reads:
1 “ I'm a Democrat” 2 “Amnesty for Illegals” 3 “I love the Dixie Chicks” 4 “Boycott Beef” 5 “I Voted for Obama” 6 “George Strait Sucks” 7 “Reelect Obama in 2012” and... 8 “I'm here to confiscate your guns”
The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins. God Blessed Texas!
I really like George Strait......here's a couple of his videos you'll enjoy.....just thought I'd include a couple of them since his name is mentioned above...I know you folks are proud of him, too!..........
You've got to love this, especially if you are from Texas or live in Texas.
New ambulance in Austin , Texas, coming soon to your city or town.
Miss you yet??? Nope. Glad you're gone. And your daddy.
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"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal. Never forget that everything the Founding Fathers did was not." Martin Luther King, Jr.
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