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Old 07-01-2012, 03:45 PM  
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Gun News

You may have heard on the news about a southern California man put under 72-hour psychiatric observation when it was found he owned 100 guns and allegedly had (by rough estimate) 100,000 rounds of ammunition stored in his home. The house also featured a secret escape tunnel.
My favorite quote from the dimwit television reporter: ?Wow! He has about a quarter million machine gun bullets.? The headline referred to it as a ?massive weapons cache?.

By southern California standards someone owning 100,000 rounds would be called ?mentally unstable?.

Just imagine if he lived elsewhere:

In Arizona , he?d be called ?an avid gun collector?.

In Texas , he?d be called ?a novice gun collector?.

In Utah , he?d be called ?moderately well prepared?, but they?d probably reserve judgment until they made sure that he had a corresponding quantity of stored food.

In Montana , he?d be called ?The neighborhood ?Go-To? guy?.

In Idaho , he?d be called ?a likely gubernatorial candidate?.

In Wyoming , he?d be called ?an eligible bachelor?.

In Wisconsin , he?d be called ?a deer hunting buddy?.

And, in Alabama , we just call him ?Bubba?.
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Old 07-02-2012, 09:58 PM  
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Told ya so!
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Old 07-03-2012, 08:39 PM  
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Old 07-10-2012, 11:07 AM  
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The gold urinal


Before Obama was elected President he went to see Bill and Hillary
for some campaign advice, at their spacious home.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he
could use his personal bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that
Clinton had a solid gold urinal! Wow!

That afternoon, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal. "Just
think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too want to have a gold urinal."

Days later, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how

impressed Obama had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private
bathroom, Bill had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary
smiled and said to Bill:

"I found out who peed in your saxophone."
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:37 PM  
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Who did I miss?

I just received my tax return for 2011 back from the IRS. Puzzles me!!!

The question is, ?How many dependents do you claim??

I guess it was because of my response to the question: "List all dependents?"

I replied:

"12 million illegal immigrants;
"3 million crack heads;
"42 million unemployed people on food stamps,
"2 million people in over 243 prisons;
"Half of Mexico; and 535 persons in the U.S. House and Senate."

Evidently, this was NOT an acceptable answer.

I KEEP ASKING MYSELF, WHO DID I MISS?
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Old 07-13-2012, 08:21 AM  
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Here's a group (CAPITOL STEPS) you might enjoy.......
plenty of political satire......


http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=capitol+steps&oq=capitol+step s&gs_l=youtube-reduced.12...0.0.0.15437.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0..0.0...0. 0...1ac.


EXAMPLE:
Capitol Steps - Buy, Buy American Pie
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Old 07-13-2012, 11:09 PM  
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Obama Get Out
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:31 PM  
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My candidates
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AKA....Rusty, Floorist, etc.
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Old 07-25-2012, 08:33 AM  
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THE COYOTE

Different response between two states:

********** California *******
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.

1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

2. He calls animal control . Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.


5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.

7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.

9. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.

********** Texas *******
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

1. The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote.

And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
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Old 07-30-2012, 02:16 PM  
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Gotta love those Texans!
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