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Old 12-14-2010, 07:49 AM  
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Originally Posted by RiponredTJ View Post
I have nothing exciting or newsworthy to relate at the moment, except another old joke


A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly."

"Good," the doctor said. "Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing.
Excellent.
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Old 12-14-2010, 12:54 PM  
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really nice ... no such a case in our village ...

An award for short story for Alex !!!
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Old 12-14-2010, 07:20 PM  
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Right back at you for creating this thread Borislav

I hear many jokes in pubs and bars It is very difficult to think of any that are suitable for general admission but I will share one or two more with you all.

So.......

Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed. They would discuss any abnormalities that they saw with each other.

At one point, they saw an old fellow sort of waddling down the street like a duck at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the old mans problem.

One says, "I think you have a bad case of hemorrhoids."

The other student says, "I think you have a hernia."

The old man thinks about it a little, chuckles and says "Well, I thought it was a fart, but it looks like we were all wrong."

Sooooo.....

A father and his son go into the grocery store and are walking by the condom display. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.

The father replies...well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.

The son then asks his father, well what's the 6 pack for? The father replies, well that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.

Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, well that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March...
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Old 12-14-2010, 10:24 PM  
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I wish I could sit in my favorite chair right now, but it's covered in snow
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Old 12-15-2010, 08:54 AM  
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Originally Posted by RiponredTJ View Post
Right back at you for creating this thread Borislav

I hear many jokes in pubs and bars It is very difficult to think of any that are suitable for general admission but I will share one or two more with you all.

So.......

Two young medical students were standing on a street corner observing people as they passed. They would discuss any abnormalities that they saw with each other.

At one point, they saw an old fellow sort of waddling down the street like a duck at a slow pace. The two students introduced themselves to the gentleman and told him that they didn't agree with each others diagnosis of the old mans problem.

One says, "I think you have a bad case of hemorrhoids."

The other student says, "I think you have a hernia."

The old man thinks about it a little, chuckles and says "Well, I thought it was a fart, but it looks like we were all wrong."

Sooooo.....

A father and his son go into the grocery store and are walking by the condom display. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.

The father replies...well, you see that 3 pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.

The son then asks his father, well what's the 6 pack for? The father replies, well that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.

Then the son asks his father what the 12 pack is for. The father replies, well that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March...
I've been telling my wife these, she loves them. It also reminds her I am a funny guy.
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:41 AM  
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Good evening Boys !!!
Glad to see all these stories. I am still afraid to speak about my stories … My English is not enough for it … And I remember about it in associative way …
Alex … your summer relax place is very nice! …
Here is very cool - mornings are -10C, it will last 3-4 days, after it will change ... and I am crying for my summer ... down is one of my favorite places for camp - it is a desert beach at the Black seaside – bicycling along the seaside, I always stay there for a night …
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Old 12-15-2010, 09:31 PM  
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One of these days, Borislav, we will have to talk about camping.
And how nice it is to carry almost nothing and still live like a king!
But right now I just have a few more jokes for you.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course...he'll stop barking up when you let him in.

And one more

Jones took the day off work and decided to go out golfing. He was on the second hole when he noticed a frog sitting next to the green. He thought nothing of it and was about to shoot when he heard,"Ribbit 9 Iron". Jones looked around and didn't see anyone. Again, he heard "Ribbit 9 Iron". He looked at the frog and decided to prove the frog wrong, put the club away and grabed a 9 Iron. Boom, He hit it 10 inches from the cup. He was shocked. He said to the frog, "wow, that's amazing, you must be a lucky frog, eh? The frog replied, "Ribbit Lucky frog".

Jones decided to take the frog with him to the next hole... "What do you think frog?", he asked - - "Ribbbit 3 wood". Jones took out a 3 wood and - Boom! Hole in one!! Jones was amazed and didn't know what to say.

By the end of the day, Jones had golfed the best game of golf in his whole life and asked the frog, "OK, where to next"? The frog replied, "Ribbet, Las Vegas".

They flew to Las Vegas and Jones asked, "OK frog, now what?" The frog said, Ribbit Roulette". Upon approaching the roulette table, Jones asked, "What do you think I should bet?" The frog replied, Ribbit, $3000, Black 6".--- Now, this was a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, Jones figured what the heck.

Boom! - - tons of cash came sliding back across the table. Jones took his winnings and rented the best room in the hotel. He sat the frog down and said, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money and I am forever grateful." . . . The frog replied, "Ribbit, Kiss Me". Jojnes figured why not, since after all the frog did for him, he deserved it. With Jones' kiss, the frog turned into a gorgeous 15 year old girl.

"And that, your Honor, is how the girl ended up in my clients room, so help me God".
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Old 12-16-2010, 12:45 AM  
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One more kudo

A man walked along the street when suddenly heard a voice “shift to the right quickly”. He did it and a heavy flowerpot crushed next to him … after he decided to cross the road, when the same voice told him “Run quickly back”, and a madly driving car rushed by him. “Who are you” asked the man. “I am your keeper angel” … “Can I see you?” ... “Give your flat of the hand” … And on it appeared a little white angel. “Where were you when I have married?” – growled the man, squashing it by the thumb of his other hand.

Yes, we will speak about the camp in the wilderness … usually 40-50 nights each summer I spent in my tent … the weight of my luggage (except the bike) I need I am wandering is 6 kilos including 2,5 kilos spare parts and tools … it is the thing I love more than all other. A link of my very nice tour is here:

http://unitour.tripod.com/unibiketour/


Since today I will begin Christmas and New Year celebration … too heavy program …
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Old 12-16-2010, 02:34 PM  
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A few pics.....here's my buddy!!





The worst part of winter...road salt! There is a black bumper and grill under that crap....



Nine days "til Christmas....I'm not ready yet, kinda crept up on me this year....Are you ready guys???
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Old 12-16-2010, 06:09 PM  
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Nice pup and I share your pain about the road salt krutj.

I'm pretty well done after today's little foray into a few boutiques and specialty shops with my daughter. What hasn't been bought yet is picked out and only waiting for one last quick guerilla like buy and run expedition. I'm feeling pretty good about everything right now.

Just need to buy some fine food and fine wines and we're set to go.

It's finaly starting to feel a lot like Christmas

Cheers to all and to all good Cheers!!
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