Random thought - Relationships

juliana · 07-24-2011, 02:04 AM

all it takes is a tiny little crush on someone to realize how you feel about the relationship you are in.

havasu · 07-24-2011, 08:29 AM

But why is it that the same feeling is compounded substantially (in reverse) when the relationship is severed?

addymiller · 07-25-2011, 04:23 AM

don't know

many people say --'It is better to be the person who is 'loved more' in a relationship'--I think I would like to try that.

I have been told that I 'idealize' people--tend to see what is great about this person or that person---and somehow ignore things that others consider flaws. I have done that--there are a few people that impress me --generally independent types of people who are goal oriented and have a 'quirky/empathetic/compassionate' streak--possess a form of integrity that I don't find in people very often.

Beyond that--things that 'bother' other people tremendously don't bother me that much. With my crazy family---rigid people who speak their minds whether you like it or not--almost anyone who is less abrasive is OK with me.

I would like to be 'adored'--it is possible--since I can feel that way about others--someone can adore me. lol--and should start ASAP.

blucher · 07-25-2011, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by havasu

But why is it that the same feeling is compounded substantially (in reverse) when the relationship is severed?

I really have no idea. I understand the love morphs into hate but why? I've hurt & been hurt but I don't hate lost love. It's a painful process and nothing appears to be gained by detesting the same person you were in love with 6 months earlier.

havasu · 07-25-2011, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blucher

I really have no idea. I understand the love morphs into hate but why? I've hurt & been hurt but I don't hate lost love. It's a painful process and nothing appears to be gained by detesting the same person you were in love with 6 months earlier.

Truer words were never spoken. I just wish the pit in my stomach would go away soon!

addymiller · 07-25-2011, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by havasu

Truer words were never spoken. I just wish the pit in my stomach would go away soon!

Eventually it does. 'The Ego'--it is just hard to accept that someone doesn't feel that way about you. That's about all I can figure out.

We discussed this thoroughly at city data. The current thinking is the cold water approach---'Just face it --he/she is not that interested in you'. There are those that are militant about this--whether through personal experience, extensive counseling or whatever--they are adamant---'No Contact'---if a relationship has crumbled---then 'No Contact'--must be implemented. It does work. Some weakened and contacted the other---and the advisers did not approve--counseled them again and again --just Move On.

This works for me--I cannot stop ROFLMAO---addiction--yes, I can be like that and I can also not be like that...lol.

‪David Hasselhoff - Hooked on a Feeling‬‏ - YouTube

In the 60's this was the 'sweetest little song'. Most of the songs were sweet--love you forever songs. That can happen, I believe it--but it takes 2 people that know who they are. lol---That takes a few years ---some never find out. lol

YouTube

havasu · 07-25-2011, 04:27 PM

Thanks for the smile. It was needed badly!

addymiller · 07-25-2011, 06:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by havasu

Thanks for the smile. It was needed badly!

David Hasselhoff---always brings a smile to my face-I really don't know why--just 'crazy' and doesn't seem to worry about it --probably. I sort of like people like that. lol

I can only imagine what inspired him to make that video---wish I had been around when it was being planned.

I won't go through the 'mess' again --I know that. It is not that difficult--just love somebody and keep on doing it.

I visited the Ladies of Lallybroch---a site for Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series--the story of a marriage. Time traveler, WW2 British nurse, Claire Randall and 18C Highlander, Jamie Fraser. Historical fiction, time travel and much more--funny, insightful, thought provoking. now 7 Big Books. Great escape reading ---great sex scenes. lol.

The Ladies are wise---they just 'Do It'---whatever--problems--deal with them--just love --it helped me. They are 'feisty wenches'--like Claire and the author--but they live life to the fullest. I recommend the books and this website--it has won awards--'Best of the Web', etc.

Ladies of Lallybroch

ZonaJeep · 09-12-2011, 03:50 PM

Funny how when someone leaves you for someone they percieve as 'better' that they find out that the grass isn't greener and try coming back to you. Then you have the satisfaction of SHUTTING THAT **** DOWN, SON!

juliana · 09-12-2011, 06:25 PM

i think a "tiny little crush" is basically a catalyst. when you are in a relationship for a long time you take a lot of things for granted, not always realizing that that's what you do. a "tiny little crush" lets you look at your relationship from the outside, lets you decide if you like what you see. if you don't like it you may want to try to fix it - or break up and leave...

the result is not always negative though. my "tiny little crush" made me realize once again how truly awesome my man is. i never acted on my crush, of course, but i'm glad it happened.