having such a hard time

[jollyjung]

i have a bf and I'm going thru such a hard time. i was sure he is the one. but I don't know it anymore. its not about him. it's about his situation. and things that surrounded us break us down.
I am exhausted so is he. I noticed I have an anger problem with all this. I got angry with no reason suddenly and had to let it out by bitching at him about the situation. eventho I know it doesn't do anything much.

I don't know what's my best option is.
We love eachother so much but it doesn't seem affect in a healthy way

[M22KLARS]

Well maybe you can elaborate on his situation... I don't really understand what the problem here is.

[jollyjung]

Originally Posted by M22KLARS

Well maybe you can elaborate on his situation... I don't really understand what the problem here is.

I'd like to say the main problems in my relationship are... his family hate me bc they have another girl as his wife( it's very old school Asian style of culture. some kind of arranged marriage) second of all, I can't trust him due to mistakes he made the past. eventho I known deep inside now he has been changed so much and love me so much. at the same time I think deep inside still hurt and angry.
I love him so much tho.

[Austin]

If you can't trust him you never will, a large part of relationships is trust.

[blucher]

We build our structures on foundations. This applies to buildings AND relationships.

It sounds like your foundation contains real concerns and may be untenable.

at the same time I think deep inside still hurt and angry.
I love him so much tho.

I like watching "Cops". Over & over & over I hear the physically/emotionally abused gf say; I love him so much tho.

[ForNever]

@ blucher lawl, big words.

girl, comeon, he's gotta man up. His family has another chick for him? Either he needs to tell them to back off or you need to. Dont take that crap. Your his chick, he picked you, now he needs to make a decision weather he wants to be a man with you and own up to his mistakes, or be a mommas boy and blame all his baggage on his family. just my opinion.

[jollyjung]

Originally Posted by blucher

We build our structures on foundations. This applies to buildings AND relationships.

It sounds like your foundation contains real concerns and may be untenable.

I like watching "Cops". Over & over & over I hear the physically/emotionally abused gf say; I love him so much tho.

thanks for reply!
I'm wondering why they still think they love him so much tho

[jollyjung]

Originally Posted by ForNever

@ blucher lawl, big words.

girl, comeon, he's gotta man up. His family has another chick for him? Either he needs to tell them to back off or you need to. Dont take that crap. Your his chick, he picked you, now he needs to make a decision weather he wants to be a man with you and own up to his mistakes, or be a mommas boy and blame all his baggage on his family. just my opinion.

I'm totally on your side. but I know him he cannot be the person who is cruel to his family. he feels guilty that he hasn't made his parents happy.

[blucher]

Originally Posted by jollyjung

thanks for reply!
I'm wondering why they still think they love him so much tho

I've read and heard the abuser often tells the abused the behavior stems from love.

Don't buy that. If it doesn't feel like love it's darn well not love.

[HiHood]

Too much for such a short life. No one should be denied happiness and peace. Stop sweating for the small things, BACK OUT, regroup and attack life in a new begining and direction. Nothing comes for free, you gotta get after it and GRAB it. He's either not man enough to tell his family to take a flying suck or he doesn't want you, plain, simple, cruel, but unfortunately, LIFE as we know it! and either way, he probably don't deserve you. It sounds like to me he wants to double dip. Marry her, keep you on the side for fun.